Puzzlin' Evidence

Some bizarre coincidences recently brought to my attention.


Exhibit A:



You Make My Dreams Come True - Daryl Hall & John Oates



Exhibit B:



Any thoughts?

My bags are in compliance with the American Cornhole Association

Camille was searching for a new bike and somehow got some cornbags.

CORNHOLE BAGS ON THE EBAY

You should probably bid, because his bags are in compliance with the American Cornhole Association

You know, the ACA?

We went there once. We were so young then.

Wild Wild West

As you may or may not know, I recently had a trip to San Francisco to visit my delicious friend Jake. He is delicious, and so was my trip. Here are some photos to give you a sample of just how zesty my vacation was:

THE NEON MONSTER! (Jakes comic book/record/toy store!)

Jake and his bro Isaac.



Momewraths 1 and 2




Our apocalyptic shopping list

DJ MEHDI!

Typ SF



Getting inked!




For these exciting adventures and more, visit my FLICKR!

Overheard at Jake's Preschool

This is fact.


Kid 1: I can poop candy!
Kid 2: And I can eat it all up!

CEILING CAT

Ok, so I dunno how up to lolspeak everyone is, but CEILING CAT is a bit of a phenom. (Actually, the lol-world has rewritten the bible entirely to explain the CEILING CAT...google it)

Well, this just in. My friend Conor, who works at a respected publisher whose name I shall not release, has ceiling cats.

At work.

Working on a middle floor of one of the largest buildings in New York City, somehow his place of occupation has managed to get stray cats in the ceiling. He can tell this because "there has been meowing in all different corners", and according to his reports, the girls in his office have removed the ceiling tiles and put cat food and water up there, which has been consumed. Somehow, New York City cats have made it to the interior of a rather tall building and are now annoying hapless publishers.

Apparently the ASPCA has been notified of the issue and his workplace will soon be decatted, but until then, the meowing will not cease.

iTunes

I think my favorite part of iTunes is celebrity playlists. If you go into the store section, then search "celebrity playlists" it gives you a list of people (of cultural relevance or currently promoting something) that rank certain songs and then tell you what you think of them.

Things I've discovered:
Al Gore is actually a woman
I kind of want to fight Tobey Maguire.

The best thing about these playlists are that they go back to 2004, so you can remember movies you've forgotten about and songs that aren't interesting anymore. And sometimes you get celebs that clearly wrote their opinions via Blackberry ("This song is sooooo good") or celebs that really have put thought into their iTunes playlist, like Alan Cumming, who said that the Spice Girls' "Who Do You Think You Are" was like "witnessing an iconic cultural happening."
Damn straight.

Here are some surprising factoids:
- The Backstreet Boys really like Motorhead, and think Lemmy is a fashion icon.
- Katie Holmes' (while promoting Mad Money) had to "dance a lot" so she listened to "Gold Digger" by Kanye
- Jason Batemen likes Jeffy Buckley and the Pixies! And Smashing Pumpkins and Wilco! Stunning, Jay.
-For "Darjeeling Limited", Jason Schartzman wrote freaking essays about songs by Weezer and the Magnetic Fields. And Adrian Brody wrote one or two words, like simply citing "Terrible Lie" by NIN as "Hollywood."
- Like The Backstreet Boys, Megadeath also features Motorhead songs.
- In the ultimate of creepiness, Jim Carrey makes all of his playlists reference Jenny McCarthy (his then girlfriend? his now girlfriend?). He also has a lot of angry, post-goth girl music, like Fiona Apple and Evanescence. And he put himself singing "I Am the Walrus" by explaining, "Well...I am."
- Patricia Arquette has an amazing taste in music, and a playlist that makes me want to kill myself (Belle & Sebastian, Elliot Smith and Mazzy Star for the suicide trio).
- Brian Wilson's playlist is mostly Beach Boys songs and him saying, "Some of the best lyrics ever written..."
- Ciara (who appears on the list twice) doesn't have Aaliyah on her list, which is blasphemous.
- Pink has a lot of Ani Difranco, but she also features Bad Religion and Jodeci, which is why she's my favorite pop star. Because she's grrrl angry, with an extra r.
- I just saw Ciara for the third time. Still no Aaliyah.
- I've noticed a trend with rock bands - they include classics like Pixies' "Monkey Gone to Heaven", through some obscure country on the list (like Hank Williams), a little bit of irony like Bostons' "Don't Stop Believing" and then ALWAYS close with a Prince song.
- I expected Woody Allen's playlist to be quirky and funny - it wasn't.
- However, William Shatner's list was pretty excellent, with only four songs:
"Love Is Here to Stay" by Ella Fitzgerald, "Symphony No. 2 in D Major" by Beethoven, "Adagio in E Major by Mozart", and then Lose Yourself by Eminem, citing "He's different."
- Dane Cook's list was composed of one hit wonders. Maybe because DANE COOK is a one hit wonder! (snap.)
- Nicole Kidman likes to relax to Morcheeba. Can you imagine all of the scented candles?
- Of course, Robert Smith's playlist is amazing (Thin Lizzy, the Cocteau Twins and Mogwai), minus the Blink 182. I can't even IMAGINE how that happened.
- Ru Paul's playlist had Blondie, Cher, Diana Ross and Fantasia. Like...duh.
- When I clicked on Robert Downey Jr's list, I expected it to be crazy music, like Suicide or at least music only to be enjoyed on a great deal of amphetamines like B52s, and I was a little disappointed to see Steely Dan and Stevie Wonder. How can you freak out to that Rob? If you play the record on 45?


Those are the highlights. I actually got bored when I hit Jennifer Garner and Donny Osmond, because I could care less about what they listen to (he likes Tears for Fears and Avril Lavigne, she's into Outkast and Gwen Stefani).

So what I've learned is that all of Hollywood and its satellites pretty much can all agree on Justin Timberlake. He's like, the Brie of music. Everyone gets down with him.

(Next time, I am going to do this but only with celebrities that have since died, like Heath, Mix Master Jay and Alanis Morissette)

The Great Debate

Here is the constant conundrum I face:

I am here (on the couch)
My DS is over there (on the chair)
and a) my arms are too short to reach and b) there may/may not be cockroaches on the floor waiting for bare feet to touch them...



so it goes.

THOU ART A VILLAIN

Matt Harper is not only my source for all things pop-culture related, he inspires me to think about the things that really matter - who has a more lasting cultural impact, Bowie or Nas? (Answer: Nas, but Harper disagrees) What X-Men team is really unstoppable? (Answer: We both agree with Shadowcat but Matt calls out all of these obscure X-Men who rarely appear)

Today he posed a bigun, one that I fear he may take my answers and exploit them for Viacom gain: Given the entire history of movie villains, which one is the most TERRIFYING, and why?

Now, of course, we have to define terrifying, because there is a difference between horror and just plain unsettling. For instance, the oft-mentioned Pinhead (Hellraiser, 1987) and clownish Pennywise (It, 1990)are both freaking creepy, but they just don't do it for me on the long run - they don't have that villainous pizzazz. I mean, I ain't bout to cuddle with either, but they don't have that long term, mind-altering omnipotence of others.

We are looking for icons, characters that have helped define evil. Yes, the Predator made me shit my pants, but its JOB was to pray. It's in its damn name. Nothing twisted, no deep abiding characteristic drove it to kill.

We automatically discounted Darth Vader, because Matt said the last movie ruined it for him because, "he was all shriveled and white." (Latent Star Wars racism? Intergalatic gentrification? Yes please.) For some reason, Harper kept harping on Kaiser Soze, which provoked an argument, because Kaiser Soze was a TWIST, and not only was he a twist, you never SAW the guy.
Matt: i'm just thinking of iconic and noteworthy villains - and i think kaiser soze deserves to be there
Me: OMG
Me: KEVIN SPACEY IS KAISER SOZE!
Me: no way, cuz you are kinda down with kaiser by the end
Me: you aren't scared of him
Me: you are like, "go kaiser"
Me: go with your bad self.
Matt: its not about being scary - its about getting inside your head
Me: I think the point of this discussion is, and I quote, "what are - in your opinion - the scariest movie villains of all time?"
Matt: ok whatever - kaiser is scary and definitely notable
Matt: i mean, leatherface is straight up scarier - but he's boring. kaiser is interesting
Me: kaiser is almost NOT a villain inasmuch as an anti hero
Me: kaiser soze has a forgiving streak
Matt: ok whatever - forget kaiser

So, we forgot Kaiser.

We came up with a tentative list, spanning several decades (there is one anomaly time-wise) and I focus on the latter half of the twentieth century because villains before the 70s weren't really terrifying because they were either faceless (communism, nuclear threats) or totally one dimensional.

I picked:
Hans Beckert from "M" - Because in the end, who is the real villain? The compulsive child murderer, or us, the furious mobs hell-bent on justice? WHO IS THE REAL VILLAIN!?

Bob from "Fire Walk With Me" - Because, you know, he encapsulates an entire TV series. And all of evil. AND he was played by the sound guy, who just lurked around stage looking utterly horrifying.

Pyramid Head from "Silent Hill" - While the movie itself wasn't mind blowing, the villain, this silent, slow-moving and totally destructive man/thing with a pyramid head was pretty terrifying. I mean, he deskinned a girl. With one movement. In fact, that whole movie was pretty eerie. Hey, I had to put SOMETHING modern.



Matt picks a slightly more modern crowd. His first pick is Jigsaw from the "Saw" movies, because, as he says, "Leila, he's a bit more iconic than Bob." He's probably right, but I don't think he has the staying power. That mask is a little too Hot Topic for me (he does work at MTV), but it's pretty flippin scary.

Norman Bates from "Psycho", because he is the first filmed psychopath - I believe, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong (aside from M, perhaps - where we really see demented behavior. Norman doesn't kill on the large scale, but his murders are particularly ghastly. The shower scene is truly iconic.

Lastly, Matt chooses the new kid on the block, Anton Chigurh from "No Country For Old Men." I think this is mostly because of Javier Bardem's incredible acting (and I also think Mr. Bardem just looks sinister in general. I haven't totally seen the movie, but I was thinking that Daniel Day-Lewis from "There Will Be Blood" should be nominated to be on this list as the most morally ambiguous and terrible.

Now, the fun part. Matt and I are usually in agreement with everything, and the things we aren't in agreement with, we have a delightful time fighting about. But it was pretty easy for us to make our comprehensive picks, and I'll just feature a few right now:

1. Hannibal Lector - The intelligent, perfectly calculated and totally in/human Lector pretty much, for me, defines what it is to be a villain. "I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti..." I mean, it almost sounds tasty.

2. Baby Jane - Initially I thought that Matt and I chose Bette Davis purely to represent the villainess, but Bette Davis' characterization of a scorned child star torturing her kindhearted (though spoiled) sister is literally chilling. Especially during the latter half of the movie when we are allwe never wondering if Joan Crawford is going to live or die - and really know...

3. Michael Myers - Yeah, Freddy is scary but he's got that goofy sweater. Michael Myers is unstoppable, unnerving and knows exactly what he wants. And for being, like 6'7", he's awfully quiet. The "everywhere and nowhere" villain, he is totally omnipotent, completely being that figure that is around every literal corner. And that face...blank, totally expressionless. MM doesn't need a getup like Pennywise or a face like Freddy, he's just totally blank and evil. Which is evil at its most evilish.

4. Damien - In fact, the devil is a pretty good villain, but Matt said that he would rather stick to humans as opposed to concepts, and he's totally right. But think of the lasting impact that Damien had - every time we see a scary little boy with sunken eyes - it comes from the Omen. I didn't see the new one, but the notion of pure innocence mixed with terrible evil is really an uncanny one.

5. Obviously...obviously the scariest villain of all time, the most effective, is Jack Torrence from the Shining. Matt brought up the point that you can tell how truly effective a villain is by their catch phrases, and "HEEEEERE'S JOHNNY" is one of the most popular, and most deranged of all. What's terrifying about Jack is that he isn't bad to begin with. We watch his descent and consciously or not, the viewer can't help but wonder if in a similar position, they would be driven to murder their spouse and kids. Is he imagining everything, or are there really ghosts? Either way, its Jack Nicholson, who is scary just reading a phonebook.

And Now For Something Completely Unsettling

Ode to my Interns

Ah, there you are. Looking at your myspace, scanning your facebook, hopelessly awkward and refusing to say no.

Without you, my caffeine headache may have killed me by now. Without you, that entire pile of hotel brochures would be unsorted, unlogged and definitely uncared for.

You are the backbone of this fine industry (believe it) and without you, publishing would be filled with coffee stained, emotionally drained anal retentive assholes who never get anything done. But thank goodness for you.

How willing you are to please me, how you take on the most tedious of tasks with nary a groan. The only thing that worries me is that I don't trust you - I don't trust that you will take off to greener pastures, something that perhaps pays you real money and doesn't think that "experience" and free vodka is going to pay your bills. But I understand. I was once you. I once had to prove myself to a group of totally ignorant editors who went for fancy lunches and spent hours on G-chat while I had to listen to them explain the same task to me three times.

And I vowed that I would never follow in their boots, but instead, treat every one of my interns with kindness and respect. And while I don't know half of your names, all I know is that you made me coffee and filled out some spreadsheets.

I know your parents don't understand. They didn't live in a world where there was free labor, and they certainly didn't aspire to be fashion writers. But I understand. I know that you are only a quarter of the way there, and much more clawing, crying, whining and copy/pasting will be done before you get to the top.

Our partnership, dear interns, brings a tear to my eye. With you by my side, I can take an extra hour at lunch, and no one (but you) will be the wiser.

Nightlife photography: A rant

The internet, besides being a warm glow in a dark room and my most consistent friend, is good to me. I am incredibly dexterous in its maneuvering, it has produced some of my best friends and greatest laughs, and its the only way I'm ever really reachable.

Aside from lolcats, youtube and obscure videogames, the internet has a dark, treacherous side, luring young unsuspecting girls (and boys) into doing heinous acts. The internet is responsible for an addiction, a dirty habit that has surfaced with a vengeance in the past year. Alongside myspace came this new phenomenon, and not only is it dangerous, but its demeaning.

Yes, my friends. Nightlife photography.

But Leila, what is this nightlife photography? Didn't you yourself participate in it?

This is true. Many years ago, I employed myself as a photographer for mtldnb.com, snapping shots and documenting parties. Here is the thing - I didn't realize NP (nightlife photography, or near porn or no pride) would be viral. I didn't know it would lead to this:

A teeming squirming pukefest

Yes, LNP is probably the worst offender, but every city has that one hipster blog that makes parties look like SO much fun. Why aren't my friends having this much fun? Why don't we get asked to take runny eyeliner pictures in a telephone booth in Berlin...or worse, on Sullivan street! Why don't my friends have careless lives and flawless skin?

Because the people who exist in nightlife photography exist FOR nightlife photography. Here we are, in the age of the internet, where we all feel like we have this self-important right to be heard. We have youtube, blogs (the irony is duly noted), facebook - all of these mechanisms that entirely satiate our desire to see and be seen. There we are, internet stalking people we met the night before, telling the world about our lives in publicly accessible forums.

That notion, the notion that we are all glorious creatures that deserve the world's attention, has spawned NP. Suddenly we have new icons and avatars that bear that little watermark saying nickydigital or everyoneisfamous on the bottom. Suddenly we feel like pseudo celebrities with the flash going off, hoping that we made the cut the next day when we scroll the blogs. Look at us, our skin perfect from the washed out light, our hair delightfully amiss.

And those who depend on the nightlife (for money, sex, some sense of validation) are now depending on their appearances at these blogs. Here is someone documenting what was once undocumented (who was seen where, from everything to the Misshapes to Trouble & Bass)

The bottom line is its just a big ego fest, and its done in the most sleazy of ways.

But perhaps I'm jealous. Perhaps I want to be seen online. But I really think that I am just so amazed that anyone out there has the energy to create and sustain (and stay interested in!) the world depicted in nightlife photography.

That is all.

Ctrl Z

Today on my way to work, I was carrying my coffee and naturally spilled it all over my cashmere blend, monumentally warm but still form fitting, near-revolutionary winter coat. I immediately went to Ctrl Z.

This was mildly alarming, but then I remembered the other week when I accidentally called a coworker another coworkers name, loudly and in front of other people, and I reached my hand out, again, to hit Ctrl Z.

I mean, its natural to want an undo button in every day matters, but I really need to spend less time on the computer.

Nuts.

The Ledger is Over

My roommate is devastated over the untimely passing of the young, virile Heath Ledger. Like the good roommate I am, I picked up some wine on my way home and started emailing and drinking. I am a small girl; small enough so a couple of glasses leave me a bit fuzzy, and in the wake of a highly stressful day (YOU try working in an all gay office and having the stare of Brokeback Mountain die...a couple of people needed to leave early). I've decided to do what I normally do when I've been drinking and emailing.

Internet shopping.

Most people, after a night of binging, wake up remorseful and with a headache. I wake up poor. I check my browser history and shudder. I get packages for the next few days and shake my head in sorrow. It's awful.

Here are some things I am thinking of splurging on tonight:


A stuffed Cthulu, found here:


Dramatically overpriced but still severely reduced Helmut Lang jeans found here:



Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men featuring my favorite X-Man Shadowcat found here:


I was going to say Spanx, but my roommate (who is moderately enjoying the wine and still awfully upset over her Knight's Tale being over) brought up the fact that her ass is already held up by youth and exuberance, and I think she has quite a point.

Eyelash dye. I've always been interested, and what could possible go wrong? Nothing. Nothing at all. It's just my eyes...I have two of them! Found here.

A Prince poster. Really, really find a problem with it. You can't, can you? You walk in to a house where someone owns a Prince poster...you immediately fall in love with them. No contest. Its over. Buy one here, probably for your benefit:
And after all of this - all I got were some mere magic screens, courtesy of my favorite, Oriental Trading:
Whatever, it was three dollars. It was either that, or "10 Things I hate About You" in honor of the tragedy that befell us here in New York today.





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